But God…
This isn’t a post about me. Or my story. Yes, my story matters, but only when seen in light of His story. I want my story to reflect Him. My story matters only if my story is bringing others to the knowing of God’s grace (heart, soul, mind, and strength). This is the start of me sharing with you all how God has been moving and working in my life in and through recent traumatic situations.
Hearing Romans 5:8 back when I was 15 saved me, and forever changed the trajectory of my life. I’ve reflected on that moment and the verse over and over for the last 25 years (whew I’m 40!!). I’ve picked it apart, taught on it, and wrote about it on numerous occasions. One would think someone an expert on something that they have dwelled on for 25 years. But then God goes and does something new. He uses a situation meant to break you, to show you that HE IS NOT DONE, and HE IS STILL MOVING.
Reading through Romans 5:6-8 earlier, I noticed something I hadn’t noticed before. Romans 5:8 starts off with “But God…” Verse 6&7 give all the reasons why not and what. I mean, we are used to hearing the pessimistic words of others. The you can’t’s, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t worthy, and this will never happens. I’ve heard these my whole life. As Dr. Peterson pens this verse “But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to Him.” That’s the whole point of the Gospel though, right?! We were of no use to Him, BUT GOD…
THAT’S THE ENTIRE GOSPEL!!!
WE WERE OF NO USE TO HIM, BUT GOD…
As verse six says GOD, at just the right time.
June 27, 2022. Another day that most likely will forever change the trajectory of my life. Ash took me to the hospital because I was having headaches for about a week, and that day my vision started getting wonky (imagine looking through a kaleidoscope, but without the kaleidoscope), while I was driving home! I couldn’t even see my phone in front of my face. Ash gets me to Aultman in downtown Canton, just in time for an 8 hour wait! And of course the lady next to me is throwing up, so I naturally joined in.
Heading into the hospital, we were wondering what could be wrong with me. We did stay off of WebMD, for good reasons. But we were thinking high blood pressure or perhaps even diabetes at the worst (since both of those run in my family). They repeatedly check my blood pressure and it was completely fine, but I seemed to be regressing pretty quickly. Which must have been what got me seen quicker. Within the first 2 hours of the 8 hour wait, I was taken back for a CT scan. I have no idea how much longer after the scan that they brought us back for the results, to Ash it most likely seemed like an eternity (which will be a regular occurrence as I continue to share this story in subsequent posts).
They brought us back and the nurse told us that I had a mass in my brain. You ever have a moment where it seems that time stood still. It was like someone hit the pause button on life. And nothing was moving. I was numb. In that moment, it hit me that my wife might have to keep on living without me. That my kids would have to go through losing their daddy, and forever have to struggle with all that that entails.
A few hours later, I’m being taken up to Cleveland to University Hospital. Where I would take up residence until my surgery on the 30th, and then recovery until being able to head home on July 6th. There are more stories and moments from this season that I will share in later posts. But for now, surgery on June 30th to remove a brain tumor, and just 5 weeks later I’m getting to help lead worship here at FCC. There’s no way that should have been possible, BUT GOD.
To know that something should have taken me out, BUT GOD has chosen and will continue to use for HIS GLORY.
How quickly I’ve been able to bounce back, and get back to the normalcy of everyday life is a complete testament to His power, and grace.
His name be magnified.
His name be glorified. Forevermore.
